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What is the solution to all Pakistani Problems? More Ministers Please!

25 May, 2006

By Ahmer Muzammil


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 Finally the "DOERS" of Pakistani establishment has figured out what the commotion in the public is all about. They nailed it right on the head! Kudos to them for finally answering the call of the poor, ravaged, raped, molested, hungry hordes of so called human beings and giving them what they were dying for. Now that more ministers have been added to the already over-populated, under-achieved, worthless, good-for-nothing, powerless Cabinet, all the problems should be resolved. I am flabbergasted at the disregard & cunning- confidence with which the establishment goes on about molesting its people. They do it with such guile that it will shame the hyenas. It takes real talent and composure to lie with a straight face, my hats of to Ali Durrani, Tariq azeem and Mr. Niazi (although he is not as eloquent & sly as the other 2) who do the job without any fuss. I guess they've been rewarded for feeding us dung; with cash-cow ministries. Congratulations are in order!

  

  For people like me who are not directly affected by this circus in Pakistan, there is definitely some comic relief in these tragic affairs. I say this not because I am mocking the people in Pakistan rather because I am astounded by the fact that the people are so numb that they keep getting kicked while they are down by the elites and they show no resistance whatsoever. How else will you explain this eerie silence at the constant rise in prices of basic necessities, inflation, corruption, suicide-rate, and to add insult to injury the government of Pakistan mocks its people by inserting more ministers. Who will eventually pick up the tab of 300000/minister/month (secretaries are off course are in addition to this crowd)? Take a wild guess!

  

  Prophet Mohammad (may Allah swt showers his mercy upon him) said that one of the signs of the Day of Judgment is that inept people will acquire positions of authority. One look at our cabinet and all of us should bow down and start repenting for our sins; for that "THE DAY" can come any moment now. I mean come on! We have the likes of Faisal Saleh Hayat, the epitome of everything decent & honest & Aamir "the Aalim" Liaquat Hussain (of the fake degree fame). I can go on & on but there are some 60 odd names, none of whom I am certain; rightfully deserve the authority that they have been entrusted with. If you watch the talk shows that these "CELEBRITIES" grace with their presence, it is obvious that they themselves can't even believe that they are able to sell the muck that they are and they could care less if anyone buys it or not either, because they are not answerable to public nor do they care about the public opinion, why should they? Public didn't bring them in office, King musharaf did, so it's only appropriate that they serve his purpose rather than those meaningless constituents. Pakistanis are a special group of people though. They will get riled up and excited and are up in arms if an "OUTSIDER" hurts there interest. But we have no qualms about getting devastated by our own. This is indeed amusing. It would be a cliché to say that we should take a page from Nepal's journey towards democracy.  But apparently we the Pakistanis don't deserve and can't handle democracy, says who you ask? Well, the biggest benefactors of this mess that we call Pakistan, the upper brass of armed forces off course. I listen with awe when some of my brethren (who either have family ties in armed services or are somehow getting benefits from the military thugs) rant & rave in favor of Army's superiority and how Army has the ultimate wisdom and right over Pakistan. This insinuation by King Musharaf that the public of Pakistan is just too dumb to decide their own fate is as insulting as it gets.

  

  Besides in 50 or more years of our existence it's no hidden secret that Pakistan either had martial-law or puppet governments that were being maneuvered by the armed forces. If Pakistan is a disaster today (and it surly is for the most part), do you really have to be a rocket scientist to figure out whose fault it is? I am not saying that the politicians or civil bureaucracy have been any better; most of them are bunch of opportunistic, self-serving "YES-MAN" but they are nothing but hired-help. The show has always been run by the people with big-guns; "MEN AT THEIR BEST, PAKISTAN ARMY". We have to decide as a nation once & for all who in this day age will govern us. Is it going to be status-quo with the "KHAKIS", or can we bring about a change? And change won't come free of charge either because you see, governing Pakistan is a very profitable business for the benefactors and they are not going to let go of this cash-cow easily or willingly. Do we have enough self-respect and courage like the Nepalese, or are we still in that state of numbness as a nation?

  

  I have a feeling that we are very impressionable as a nation and we get in awe at the stupidest of gestures. "OAAYY YARR KYA MARD HAY, AKARR KARR BAAT KARTA HAY DADA LOGON KI TARAH APNA MUSHARAF(DUDE WHAT A PIECE OF MAN THAT MUSHARAF, HE TALKS LIKE A GANGSTER)".  I am not kidding a lot of people admire him because he addresses the public like an angry dad. Kind of like he's the school master and we are all little kids. This whole nation is suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Can we be anymore vain? What is this macho-bullshit anyway? Where is this camaraderie and tough-talk when our courageous army is getting their asses whopped in every single war that they have ever been involved in? Then they need "CORRUPT" politicians to literally bail them out from Indian concentration camps, like in shimla. The only wars they do win are against the unarmed civilians on the streets of Karachi, waziristan and dayra bugti. I am sick of this rhetoric "Army is the defender of the borders"! And? Aren't we paying them to do that, why are they always expecting a "THANK YOU"? Isn't it enough that they have looted and plundered the entire country's prime land in the name of defense housing, we have to salute them for it as well?

  

  The ultimate irony is that the borders are being defended by jawans and junior officers. They are the ones laying down their lives for the country and they get paid in peanuts while the higher brass and their families sits comfortably in rawalpindi, lahore and Karachi and enjoy the high-life. It doesn't even stop there, once they are done with "SERVING" us in the uniform, they come back in shape of a "SAVIOUR" in civil departments. According to a recent finding by the parliament the retired officers of the armed forces (mostly army) heads about 600 high profile civilian posts. If you ask king musharaf he says, "So what, those officers are pakistani citizens." I think it will be much easier if once and for all, the king just say it out loud what he really believes since he markets himself as a straight shooter. What he really believes in is ""So what, those officers are THE ONLY pakistani citizens." After all "yeah tayra pakistan hay na mayra pakistan hay, yeah uska pakistan hay jo sadr-e-pakistan hay." If self-righteousness was a sport our Generals would be world champions. "Politicians are corrupt!", they tell us. True! They are no doubt about it! Why would Army generals be corrupt when legally they inherit a sum of 450,000 US dollars at the time of retirement? It's been documented that a Lieutenant general, who retires from Pakistan Army, automatically gets severance package, property & cash totaling 450000 US dollars. In a poor country like Pakistan where no other government officer who is equivalent in education, experience and value to the government of Pakistan gets this kind of reward for their services, this is just a tad bit extravagant! King Musharaf has a knack for inventing catchy phrases like "Enlightened Moderation", how about this for a phrase "Legalized Corruption".

  

  Hate politicians all you want, most of them are corrupt, incapable, dishonest, opportunistic, ruthless thugs; but these same thugs are the "Girl-friend" of the army establishment. They are the ones that Army likes and can sleep with (metaphorically speaking off course, or is it?). I mean can any sane man or woman claim with a straight face that they are "ENROLLED" in Q-League out of their moral & ideological conviction? Have you seen the characters on the government benches? I mean its bordering insanity. Our federal law-minister's son beats up a security guard for checking his bag at the airport and his father the "LAW MINISTER" joins the rumble with him. To top all of that, he gets the FIA guard fired for doing his job. 

  

  The government of Pakistan recently ordered some 17 bullet-proof Mercedes for their ministers and for the speaker of the house. Who the hell wants to kill these worthless people anyway? More appropriate question would be who in the world can recognize them. I think they are giving themselves too much credit for thinking that they are so significant that there lives are in danger.

  

  Famous Author Michael H. Hart wrote a book entitled "The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History". In this book, Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) is listed as the most influential, but I would like to mention another personality from the book his name was Umer Bin Al-Khatab (May Allah be pleased with him). Umer (RAW) was the 2nd caliph and he ruled over an empire that included present day Saudia Arabia, Iraq, Egypt, Iran, Syria, Yemen, Kuwait, UAE, Morocco and some other small countries. You can say that he was king of kings in his time. Historians write that once a messenger from a governor of some roman town came down to the capital of medina to meet the Caliph. The messenger came with an entourage and was expecting a King on his throne in expensive garment with his body-guards surrounding him. When he entered the city it was noon time and it was hot in medina so usually people would take a break, so there was no hustle and bustle in the market. The convoy saw a man taking a nap under a tree. The roman messenger and their entourage went to that man and enquired about the palace of Umer, the man replied that he was in fact the man they were looking for. Obviously the messenger was awe-struck with the simplicity of the "King". The roman messenger said something very profound that I think our current "LEADERS" can take a lesson from (hazaroon khoahishein aysi kay har khoahish pay dum niklay), he said that "Oh Umer, you must rule with fairness that's why you don't feel threatened and therefore don't need any protection".  People like Umer Bin Al-Khatab (May Allah swt be pleased with him) don't seem real. That's why sometimes when we read these stories we read ‘em as fairy tales. When in fact they were very real and we should strive to at least use them as our role models.

  

  This entire article is written in a frustrated tone and that's really how I feel when I look at the disparity of power, resources, wealth and opportunity among the Have's and the Have Not's. But I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I say this because I have faith in commoner of Pakistan, I know that my country have produced people such as late Mairaj Khalid of PPP; while he was the prime minister of the country his wife got injured in Lahore by a bus that went over her foot while she was waiting for her route-bus. Once the chief-minister of Punjab had a meeting with him in PM Secretariat, when the chief minister got there he was told that the Prime Minister was not there yet. So finally when he met PM the chief-minister said, "Mr. Khalid, I know you are very strict when it comes to being on time, what happened?" Maiiraj Khalid said "I was in my car driving towards the secretariat and I got stuck in traffic because Chief-Minister of Punjab was passing through and all the roads were blocked by the police". This happened not centuries ago but some 10 years ago. I also know that in this day and age of corruption we have politicians such as siraj-ul-haq who is the interior minister of his province NWFP and still lives in a one bedroom house. Even the opposition vows for his honesty.

  

   I am sure that majority of the soldiers in the army are honest hard working Pakistanis as well, but the fact of the matter is that even though "Nice people" might be the majority but nevertheless the "Bad minority" control our affairs and therefore we are in this mess. This balance of power needs to shift, and for that to happen we must not be complacent. People don't realize the power of majority, and when they do, miracles like the revolution in Iran and more recently in Nepal, come to fruition. I'll end this with a hope from faiz.

  

  Hum dykhein gay,

  Lazim hay kay ham bhi daykhein gay,

  Jo loh-e-azal mein likha hay,

  Who din kay jiska wada hay,

  Hum daykhein gay.

 

End.

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